Rhubarb

Rhubarb is a vegetable and not a fruit. Official.

The rhubarb season in the UK is limited, but getting better due to growing it under cover and with forcing it in long pipes or specially made pottery.




As a variant from the normal pudding I offer you a Rhubarb and Raspberry Crumble.

Preparation Time 15 minutes

Cooking Time 1 hour

Ingredients

Base
400g Rhubard stalks, cut to 10cm lengths
50g Brown sugar
200g Raspberries pulped in a blender
2 tbsp Sherry

Topping
100g Plain flour
100g Butter
100g Brown sugar
50g Ground almonds
1/2 tsp Vanilla essence

Preparation

Base
Put the rhubarb, sugar and sherry in a pan with a lid. Allow the rhubarb
to soften on a medium heat. 5-10 minutes usually.





Then add the raspberry pulp and mix well.




Put the rhubarb and raspberry mix, with the liquid into an oven dish.




Topping
Mix the butter, ground almonds and flour together until it forms a
breadcrumb-like texture.
Add the sugar and vanilla essence and mix.
Place the mixture on top of the fruit layer, fairly evenly, but allowing
a few lines for the juices to flow out.
Bake at 200C for 45 minutes.




Allow to cool for about 10 minutes before serving. This lets the fruitjuices underneath soak up into the crumble layer.

Serve hot, with custard, yoghurt or crème fraîche.

Here it is as a recipe chart. Just click on it to make it bigger.

Fig cakes, Nazi rockets and something hot in Spalding

The Nazi rocket scientist of World War II, Werner Von Braun who developed the V2 rocket said something like "I am only responsible for how the rockets go up - not where they come down." After the war he was integrated into the United States space program despite having been an officer in the SS and despite the German rocket program using slave labour from concentration camps. How convenient.


In a way, I feel similarly about the content of this blog. I am only responsible for giving information, not what people decide to do with it. But there the similarity ends.

I'm merely getting the ball over the net, as it were. What the reader does on the far side of the court is a choice issue of their own.

I mention this to you because I've had a complaint. It seems that a reader from Spalding, the home of our UK garden bulb industry (with no name or address supplied, wisely) seems to have tried out the little piece on figging, served up to you at the end on the article on Lincolnshire plum loaf. I'm sure it did have a dramatic effect and I hope that he will get out of the spare bedroom as soon as is deemed reasonable. I believe that Anusol may have a role here.

So, there you have it. If in doubt, read the whole article before involving audience participation.

But, to celebrate this little first, I present you with a simple and I hope easy to follow recipe for fig cakes, from the 1930s. Yes, it contains figs - not ginger root, but it does have a little pinch of the stuff.


Fig Cakes

Ingredients

225 g Self raising flour
75 g Butter
50 g Caster sugar
100 g Figs - finely chopped
1 Egg
2 Tbsp Milk
3 Pinches Ground ginger
3 Pinches Ground Cinnamon
3 Pinches Ground nutmeg

Directions

Get the oven up to temperature. 220C, 425F, Gas mark 7.
Rub the flour and butter together.
Remove the fig stalks with a pair of scissors.



Chop the figs finely and add them to the mix.
In a separate bowl, beat the egg and mix in with the milk.
Stir into the flour and sugar mixture.
Add the ground Ginger, ground cinnamon and nutmeg to the mixture.
Beat the mixture to a soft batter.
Fill small cake tin or bun tin up to 3/4 full.
Bake for 20 minutes at 220C, Gas mark 7



Place the cake buns on a wire rack to cool off.

Just to be clear on this. These cakes are for eating. Nothing else.

Know Your Onions

The phrase "Know your onions" has got nothing to do with Dr CT Onions, the British lexicographer, as some people believe. It is a phrase imported from the USA in the 1920s. "He knows his onions" means to be highly knowledgeable in a particular field.

Another of my favourite phrases from the same era is "He doesn't know shit from Shinola." To prove I do, the picture below is of a pot of Shinola, a shoe polish commonly available in the 1920s.




In the UK, most supermarkets offer two types of onions, brown or red. Some have white too. There's also the shallot, the spring onion and the green onion, picked early, nothing more.



As a basic onion for use in French cooking, the pink Roscoff, from Brittany is very popular. It now has appellation status and the town of Roscoff has a museum that celebrates the French onion men or Johnnies, who travelled to England every year to sell the Roscoff onions in bunches, each August.



Nowadays onion production in the UK is prolific. 450,000 tonnes are produced per year.

This uses 23,000 acres of land. The main regions of production are Lincolnshire, East & West Anglia, Bedfordshire, Yorkshire and Kent.



The average consumption of onions in the UK is 8.8kg/capita/year.

The onion is a member of the Lily family. The common onion is known as Allium Cepa; in Latin Allium means garlic and cepa means onion - the edible bulb of a plant belonging to the botanical genus Alliaceae (or onion family). It's lifespan is biennial. Here are some more.



This bunch of onion facts all started with me looking up the best recipe for French onion soup. There are as many recipes for this as there are for
Lincolnshire plum bread (see above).

I looked up a few and apart from the presence of onions, there's a lot of variation in the ingredients. Funnily enough, none of the recipes specified the onion type.

1955 UK cookuk D Smith BBC N Slater J Martin GoDine

Onions 2 4 700g 1kg 700g 5 700g
Potatoes 225g
Celery 1


Butter 50g 2 tbsp 50g 50g 40g 20g 50g
Milk 300g
Water 900g
Beef stock 850ml 1.2l 1.2l 1.75l 750ml 1.2l
White wine 125ml 275ml 125ml 250ml
Red wine 300ml
Olive oil 2 tbsp 2 tbsp
Brandy 2 tbsp 2 tbsp 2 tbsp
Dry sherry 3 tbsp

Seasoning y y y y y
Fresh thyme 2 tsp 2 tbsp
Worcestershire sauce 1 dash
Balsamic vinegar 2 tbsp
Garlic clove 1 2 3 2
Sugar 1/2 tsp 1 pinch 1/2 tsp
Flour 2 tbsp

Preparation time 10/60 15/60

Cook time 30/60 35/60 100/60 60/60 35/60 90/60






So, following some experimentation, here's my variant of French onion soup.


French Onion Soup


Ingredients

50 g Butter
700 g Brown onions or Roskoff - chopped
2 Garlic cloves - minced
1 Tsps Molasses sugar
800 ml Beef stock
2 Tsps Thyme - fresh
200 ml Dry white wine
Ground black pepper
2 Tbsps Brandy

Directions

Melt the butter in a large heavy bottomed pan with a lid

Add the onions, sugar and the garlic and cook on a medium heat for about 15 minutes, until browning, but not burning

Add the beef stock and the thyme bring to the boil, then simmer

Add the wine and ground black pepper once the liquid is simmering

Continue for about 45 more minutes

When ready, take off the heat and stir in the brandy

Serve in bowls with melted gruyère cheese on toasted baguette floating on top

Good luck.




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Cocaine – Another UK first!

Today's theme is mainly about drugs. Well one drug - cocaine and three events that have merged, as it were, into a common theme.

Yesterday I stopped off at a Little Chef, on my way back from Oxford. I had a cup of coffee, well I think it was coffee, it arrived in a cafetière anyway.

You see I just couldn't take any more Woman's Hour and in any case they'd used the word 'impact' at least five times - my usual signal to switch off.

When I went to pay, I noticed that there was a display area selling the now famed ‘I Love Charlie’ T-shirts.






Whether by stupidity or by design, somebody in the Little Chef empire caught on to a winner there. The T-shirts, sold very cheaply, have become student cool wear. They are selling in their thousands.

The little statement on the front has the same street-credibility or kudos as the leaf logo in the seventies. The latter was often assumed by the unknowing to denote a passion for gardening and in any case made a pleasant change from Che Guevara or Led Zeppelin.







It turns out that Charlie, as well as being a common slang term for cocaine is also the name of the fat little mascot favoured by the Little Chef chain. Presumably it symbolizes their loveable in-house cooks, but without the tattoos or acne of course.

Then on getting back in the car, the news was on. It's always good to know that the UK is a world leader. We often do lead, but sadly it’s often for the wrong reasons. For example, the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the whole of Europe.

Now, it seems, the UK is a world leader in another area too. We now have the highest rate of illegal cocaine use in the world.

More precisely, we have the highest usage in the 15-35 year old age group, as this was the study population. It turns out that 10% of that cohort has used cocaine at least once in the past year. So we're now ahead of Spain, with its cultural links with South America. We're ahead of the USA, Australia and Canada too.

Of course, if we were to interview a politician on this, the answer might be some sort of reassurance, that the figures speak for themselves and 90% of that group don't do cocaine. Result.

Here’s few cocaine facts

Cocaine is the most used major stimulant in the USA and the UK. It is now the drug most frequently involved in accident and emergency department episodes. Whilst not a new drug it has managed to maintain a cachet of sophistication about it, supported by its use by celebrities on both sides of the Atlantic.









Street names for cocaine in addition to the word coke are related to its appearance or its method of use.
blow
crack
flake
freebase - a reference to its preparation
lady flake
liquid lady -a mixture of cocaine and alcohol
nose candy
rock)
snow
speedball -cocaine and heroin
toot

It is wrongly assumed that cocaine is non-addictive because it is not associated with the physical withdrawal symptoms seen with alcohol or heroin. Cocaine has strong psychological addictive properties. Whilst used on its own, there is an increasing trend for polypharmacy with alcohol or benzodiazepines like Valium.

The cocaine sold by dealers is usually prepared in South American factories. The cocaine is isolated and then converted to the salt, cocaine hydrochloride.

The problem with the supply of illegal drugs in the UK, is that by the time the drug reaches the end user it has been diluted with an inert substance or sometimes by other illegal substances. Unlike German beer purity laws, the consumer doesn't know what he or she is consuming.

This salt has a high level of purity when it arrives, smuggled into another country. It can be as pure as 95%. But as it passes through many people in its journey from smuggler to end used it gets diluted ("cut") at each stage, to increase profit. By the time it gets to the user it may be as little as 1% pure. Common cutting additives include
corn starch
glucose
lactose
local anesthetics like lignocaine or procaine
quinine
sweeteners
talc


More concerning is that other drugs may be added, for example
heroin
codeine
amphetamine
LSD
THC – active ingredient of cannabis

Cocaine as the hydrochloride salt may be
injected
ingested
applied to any blood rich membrane. This includes the nose, mouth, rectum and vagina.

Most commonly it is sniffed into the nasal passages.







A line of cocaine, as finely divided powder, usually 0.25 cm x 2.5 cm is placed on a smooth surface. Then it is snorted into a nostril through straw or a rolled £20 note.

Cocaine is generally not taken by mouth. Severe toxic reactions, including death, have occurred in people who swallow the drug to avoid police detection.

Freebasing involves the conversion of cocaine hydrochloride into cocaine sulphate that is "free" of the additives and nearly 100% pure. It is not water soluble and has a low melting point, so it can be smoked.

Crack cocaine is extracted from cocaine hydrochloride by using baking soda and heat. The waxy base becomes rocks of cocaine, ready to be sold in vials. This rock cocaine is also easy to smoke.

The toxic dose, the amount of cocaine that will cause death or some significant medical consequence is variable. The average lethal dose by the IV route or by inhalation is about 750-800 mg. But deaths have occurred after the snorting of a single line in recreational use where the average dose of 1 line is 20 mg.

In a study in Southern Spain, cocaine abuse was linked to 3% of sudden deaths, a clear reminder that the drug can have devastating effects. In the study, 21 out of 668 sudden deaths were related to cocaine use and all of these occurred in men aged between 21 and 45. Most involved problems with the heart and the majority of the men were also smokers and had been drinking alcohol at the same time as taking cocaine.













Then in the evening I listened to Front Row, again on Radio 4. This cocaine world leader announcement is quite timely, as the Wellcome Foundation in Euston Road, London has just opened an exhibition about drug misuse through the ages. The exhibition, called High Society, is open until 27 February 2011.

http://www.wellcomecollection.org/whats-on/exhibitions/high-society.aspx

While the UN estimates the illegal drug trade worldwide grosses £200bn a year, the exhibition reminds the visitor that the use of psychoactive drugs is nothing new, and that our most familiar ones - alcohol, coffee, tobacco have all been illegal in the past.





From ancient Egyptian poppy tinctures to Victorian cocaine eye drops, Native American peyote rites to the salons of the French Romantics, mind-altering drugs have a rich history.





Cocaine is naturally occurring. It is an alkaloid that is extracted from the leaves of the coca plant. This was first grown in the Andes Mountains of Peru and Bolivia. Now that the cocaine industry has taken off it is grown in
Argentina
Brazil
Colombia
Ecuador
Mexico
The West Indies






Centuries ago, Peruvian natives would chew coca leaves were mixed with lime as a stimulant and to ward off hunger and tiredness at high altitude. The active ingredient cocaine was isolated after the plant was introduced to Europe. Initially it was used to treat alcoholism, depression and morphine addiction. It has good local anaesthetic properties, but superior drugs have taken over this role nowadays.

As some well known celebrities have discovered to their cost. Cocaine destroys more than lives. It destroys noses too.






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"In the Navy" - the Art of Intrusion in the Cyber Village

Our government, through the National Security Council, has classified hostile computer attacks on UK cyberspace as a level 1 threat to this country. In other words, a higher threat than a nuclear attack by an unfriendly power. is there ever a nuclear attack by a friendly power? Probably not.

£500M has been pledged to bolster cyber security, with a focus on key infrastructure and defence assets.

That was last month.



Now, a Rumanian hacker appears to have used some of Guy Fawkes Day to enter the UK Royal Navy's website. Whist he was inside it he managed to recover user names, passwords and those of the site administrator too. He proved this by posting them on the Internet.

A Royal Navy spokesman said "There has been non malicious damage." now the Royal Navy spokesmen have been pretty busy recently, thanks to the now famous reversing into a parking space in a sub manoeuvre recently perfected on the Isle of Skye.



This time they claimed that no confidential information had been disclosed. Well, apart from user names and passwords that is.

The website currently contains a notice about undergoing essential maintenance work. "Please visit the site again later."



If only the hacker had inserted a few hijack links whilst he was there.

Here are some suggestions:-

YouTube - In The Navy video by The Village People. This is significant because the hacker who is called TinKode has done them too. (YouTube -not The Village People.)



http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2b1hf_village-people-in-the-navy-version_music


Cow and Chicken



http://www.filestube.com/c/cow+and+chicken+crash+dive

The Navy Lark


http://www.navylark.org.uk/nlepguide.htm

Great Naval Disasters



http://www.amazon.com/Great-Naval-Disasters-Accidents-Century/dp/0760305943

The Highway Code - Reversing



http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTransport/Highwaycode/DG_070340


Let's hope that the Royal Navy website wasn't being run from their own server.

Nobody could be that stupid, could they?





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Autumn - Season of Soups

I'm having some days off this week, so I've had lunch out on a few occasions, mainly in North Wales, but also in Shropshire - possibly two of the last of the culinary wastelands in the UK.






Everywhere, that is to say upmarket hotels and pubs alike seems to be serving either parsnip or pumpkin soup. Usually uninspiring, over-thickened, probably with corn flour and lacking any sort of imagination. I'm told it's seasonal and even worse, that it's what people want at this time of year.

Well, here's my answer. Seasonal, comforting and moreish, if there is such an adjective. Celery and chestnut soup.





Here's the recipe. I hope that you enjoy it.

Celery and Chestnut Soup

Preparation Time: about one and a half hours, but some of that is waiting about so you can do other things.

Ingredients
2 Celery hearts, chopped
1 Large onion, chopped
4 Small potatoes, peeled and diced
10 Chestnuts, cooked and peeled*
2 Cloves of garlic, crushed
1 Bay leaf
1 Litre of chicken stock
Salt and pepper for seasoning
30 g Butter
1 Tsps Ground turmeric
40 ml Crème fraîche
Grated nutmeg

* (I use Clement Faugier brand, in lovely corrugated tins



Directions
Melt the butter in a large, heavy bottomed pan that has a lid.
Add the celery, onion, potato and garlic. Cook over a low heat until the onion becomes soft and starts to become translucent. Be careful at this stage not to let the vegetables burn.
Add the chestnuts, bay leaf and seasoning.
Add the chicken stock and increase the heat until the liquid just starts to boil. Then lower the hear so that the mixture simmers. Stir every 10 minutes or so, to avoid any burning at the base.
After about one hour, remove the pan from the heat, fish out the bay leaf, then blend the pan contents with a hand-held blender.
Add the crème fraîche and mix it in.
Serve hot, with some grated nutmeg on the surface and a little swirl of additional crème fraîche, if you're trying to impress.







It goes well with some wholemeal bread, with added raisins and figs, topped with a slice or two of Reblochon. Or if you prefer a British cheese, then Shropshire Blue goes well with it.







And of course a glass of Shropshire Lad.






Pub food doesn't have to be so predictable. Then again, nor do pub names.








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Blow the Wind Southerly - Submarine Homesick Blues

Well, shiver my stealth technology cladded timbers.

This submarine incident in or rather adjacent to the Isle of Skye in the Highlands of Scotland, or Scotlandland as George Dubya called it, seems not to be going away.





In summary a brand new nuclear stealth submarine costing about one billion pounds sterling got stuck on some rocks near to the Skye Bridge.






The Royal Navy describes the vessel in glowing terms. "Astute class is the largest, most advanced and most formidable vessel of its kind ever operated by the Royal Navy. She incorporates the latest stealth technology combined with a world beating sonar system and equipped with Spearfish torpedoes and state of the art Tomahawk land attack missiles to make her a supremely effective naval asset."

Being a naturally superstitious maritime nation, it looks like the Duchess of Cornwall is off future launcher guest lists.

We have an ever-shrinking Royal Navy as witnessed in the new entente cordiale with our French neighbours. I think the deal was something like "If there's an 'r' in the month it's one of yours we land our planes on."

As expected from this island nation there's been endless theorising and advice about the Skye submarine fiasco.

Some of my favourites include:-

The submarine is very long
- It's about 100 metres long.

The submarine is very big
- Actually it's 7800 tonnes, about the same as 1,000 London buses.

The sea is very shallow there!
- There are charts
- Even the Royal Navy could follow channel markers.

At least there was non environmental impact. I do hate that word.
- actually there was an impact - the sub hit the rocks.






The embarrassing fact is that the submarine managed to ground it's stern in a manoeuvre in which they were allegedly letting some crew off the vessel. Perhaps they were foraging for wild mushrooms to add to the recipe for the evening's supper. Goodness knows what they were up to.

The manoeuvre in question looks and sounds more like something from a canal holiday in a 70 foot narrowboat.

Matters have got even worse today, when it emerged that the tug boat that helped to free the unfortunately named HMS Astute managed to damage one of the submarine's foreplanes. - Oops! Expensive.






Somebody has to take responsibility for this embarrassing accident and it looks like the chance of the commanding officer, currently only a commander of becoming a flag officer is now minimal. In summary, no progression to admiral rank and no knighthood.






Never mind the official enquiry. If he's going home I'd advise the insertion of a cricket box.

On the other hand his wife may just be a good old-fashioned socialist who doesn't believe in all these titles. like Mrs, now Lady Prescott.

As a final note, the Coast Guard tugs, like the one that helped out here are going to be removed from service as part of the government's austerity measures.

It's unlikely that the Royal Navy will be able to get itself out of trouble in the future, shrunken as it is.

There is hope. Many passed-over naval officers can get a job as a bursar in the public schools of our glorious land.

surely you can't cause any damage with a Biro. Well.....






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