Lincoln Green - But I'm learning

I've just spent a few days in Lincoln. I stayed up the hill, beside the cathedral. It's one of the finest in Europe - far more elegant than Chartres or Caen.

While taking tea in Woodthorpe Spa with my friend of some 45 years, I saw the remains of one of Barnes Wallis' bouncing bombs. And for the first time I tasted Lincolnshire plum bread. It has in my opinion a better taste and texture than our local bara brith or speckled bread.

So this is how my little experience unfolded. 


During the last world war, we tried to confuse any potential invaders by removing all the road signs, on the assumption that Johnny Foreigner couldn't read maps. Well it seems that the same process continues through the naming of local food delicacies. For example we have:-

• Yorkshire pudding - It's not a pudding
• Laverbread - Not cooked on hot lava and not Icelandic either
• Stilton cheese - Though Stilton is in Cambridgeshire, the EU says that Stilton may only be made in Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire and Leicestershire
• Welsh rarebit - Nothing to do with Wales
• And finally Syringed Fritters - Also known as Nuns' Farts

(You may want to look that one up, but it does exist and it's a bit like Spanish Churros).

I was very impressed with the local plum bread and before leaving I called into a well known tea shop to buy a plum bread to take back to Wales.


I asked about the plums and from then on I was on a roll. The nice lady behind the counter explained that “plumming” refers to the process of drying soft fruits for later use during the winter months. There are no plums in Lincolnshire plum bread.


So I nodded my understanding and I pointed out that it was the same with figging. That's got nothing to do with figs either.


The other lady behind the counter gave out a little squeak, started to giggle and suddenly felt the need to do something under the counter. In theatrical circles this is known as corpsing. 


I could still hear her as I left the shop and she was still down there. 
Clearly she'd read the Wikipedia article too*.

Then there's the flag. Another saga.


*Figging reference - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figging